Good afternoon, my darling kittens! It’s me, your lesbian big sister. I have news for you!

First off, as you (may or may not) know, my first-ever ~book~ has been released into the wild!

Girl, Stop Passing Out In Your Makeup Glamour shot, courtesy of Candice Jalili!

With the exception of battling the inevitable demons of imposter syndrome, the experience so far has been pretty f*cking amazing. The amount of you who showed up for me and actually BOUGHT the damn thing, and have shared gorgeous pictures of the damn thing on your beloved Instagrams, has made me weep so hard my ever-bloated cheeks will forever be stained with black mascara. (I think I’m going to call my next book “Mascara Tears.” What do you think?).

I have wept so hard my ever-bloated cheeks will forever be stained with black mascara.

If you have yet to buy GIRL, STOP PASSING OUT IN YOUR MAKEUP, please feel free to make her your bitch(!) by purchasing her on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Indie Bound, BAM or Bookshop! (She’s also available on Kindle).

Between me, you and the family, I feel compelled to spill some tea on the book. She comes armed with her very own playlist. Which probably isn’t much of a surprise as you all know that I’m wildly-obsessed with music, for she’s my greatest muse of all muses (besides *you* of course).

So each chapter of the book has a title and her very own, emotionally-loaded song.

And lucky for you, honey, I’ve compiled the entire soundtrack right here on Spotify!

(And truthfully this playlist is f*cking fire. We’ve got a bit of Lana a bit of Florence a bit of MARINA a bit of Girl In Red and many more raw, deep, sexy, soulful, lyrical artists. Namely women because women are my thing).

So tonight I want you to get as cozy as possible. Put on that velour Juicy Couture sweatsuit you haven’t rocked since seventh grade. Cozy up with a shiny, glossy copy of GIRL, STOP PASSING OUT IN YOUR MAKEUP, pour yourself a beverage of your choice, devour my book whilst listening to this fierce AF playlist.

And remember, babes, if you pre-order before June 1st, I’ll send you GIRL, STOP PASSING OUT IN YOUR MAKEUP stickers (they are v cute) and a handwritten pep talk (with art) to tape to your bathroom mirror or carry in your pocket like a crystal. Or throw haphazardly into your tattered handbag and pull it out when you’re drunk and sad at the bar and need to be reminded who the f*ck you are (a queen, bitch). Just DM me on Instagram your address and I’ll send it right over.

My debut book GIRL, STOP PASSING OUT IN YOUR MAKEUP: THE BAD GIRL’S GUIDE TO GETTING YOUR SH*T TOGETHER is available NOW on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, IndieBound, and BAM! If you send me a screenshot of your preorder, I’ll send you swag!

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